


Pride

by deluxekyluxtrashcan (rhoen)



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Good Guy Kylo Ren, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, Lesbian Phasma, M/M, Phasma/Rey Implied, Pride, Socially Awkward Kylo Ren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-19
Updated: 2016-09-19
Packaged: 2018-08-16 03:18:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8084674
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rhoen/pseuds/deluxekyluxtrashcan
Summary: Kylo's journey home from Pride isn't as uneventful as he'd expected it to be. On the subway, he meets a young man who is clearly distressed when the rainbow flags painted on his skin won't budge. Understanding what he might be going home to, Kylo helps.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Kylo and Hux are about 19/20 in this, I guess.
> 
> I saw a [tumblr post](http://peujeune.tumblr.com/post/147836676485/thisisarebeljyn-therevir-drarryking) and suddenly had to write this. Given how little I've written lately... well, any inspiration about to be passed up!
> 
> This was written all in one go, hasn't been read over, is going to be terrible, and full of mistakes. _I wrote something though._
> 
> > **Do not translate or repost this fic without my permission.**. Ask if you'd like to translate it. Linking to it with a short snipped it okay though!

Kylo felt tired. Happy, but tired. As the train pulled into the station he piled on with the other passengers, most of whom were also leaving Pride. The place was awash with vibrant colours, rainbow flags and an energetic buzz, and Kylo himself was covered in glitter and paint, his bare, well-defined torso shimmering as he moved. His leather jacket was stuffed rather unceremoniously into his backpack, and as he moved into the crowded carriage he turned to see if Phasma was still with him. She was, and trailed after him in somewhat of a daze, her strong arm wrapped around a slight brunette. Kylo knew he wouldn’t be getting much conversation from her during the journey, but didn’t mind: his quota for social interactions had been well exceeded for the month. Still, he’d had fun.

There was nowhere to sit, so Kylo stood amidst the other homeward bound Pride-goers as the train started rumbling towards the next station. Holding onto the railing above, he let his body be jostled by the movement, his mind going blissfully blank as he lost himself in the sounds around him. Close to him, Phasma was nobly supporting her companion, and the showering of paint that had caught both Kylo and Phasma earlier in the day has somehow managed to transfer to the slender girl’s clothes and hair. Kylo smiled to himself and looked away, focusing on nothing in particular, even as the train slowed to its next stop.

Soon, the crowd lessened. People alighted at each station, leaving more and more room on the train to move around. Kylo, in no rush to take a seat, stayed where he was, listening to a particularly animated group of young teenagers standing to his right. Their lively conversation seemed to fill the air around them, wrapping them up them in a bubble of optimism and excitement. Kylo smiled to himself as he remembered his first Pride. It hadn’t been anything like the other teens’ experience, and had involved a lot of fighting and bleeding, but he’d met Phasma that day, and had been firm friends with her ever since. It was a treasured memory, and sometimes he wished he could do it all again. It had been a defining moment of his life, and a strong ‘fuck you’ to the world, and also to his parents whose apathy towards his coming out had angered him more than rejection would have. He’d wanted something a little more dramatic than a ‘well, stay safe, Ben’ from his mother and a disbelieving stare from his father when he’d announced that he was gay and was going to Pride. Han had, admittedly, not spoken to Kylo for two weeks after that; his reaction to the whole thing, which clearly made him uneasy, was to ignore it.

It didn’t matter now, though. Han could say or do or think whatever he wanted. Kylo had his own life to lead, and rarely saw his parents. He was miles from the tormented fifteen year old boy he’d been, and content with the space he’d carved out for himself. When he got home, Kylo was looking forward to bathing and then curling up on the sofa to watch his favourite movies while eating Ben & Jerry’s straight from the tub. He, like Phasma, could have taken someone home, but he wanted solitude after all the hustle and bustle of the day: time to reflect and enjoy his own company. If he changed his mind he could easily go out again, but Kylo valued his own space. When he was mentally tired, he didn’t want to share it.

As they stopped at the next station, yet more people got off, and the group of teens moved past Kylo to take advantage of recently vacated seats. He followed their movement, catching sight of Phasma who was now making out with her new friend as he did. Well, at least she was happy.

Which was far more than could be said for the lonely young man Kylo spotted when he turned back round. Kylo hadn’t noticed him before, with so many people obscuring the way, but now he couldn’t miss him. Perhaps around Kylo’s age, the slender redhead sat and scrubbed furiously at the paint on his cheek, which refused to budge. Dressed in fine jeans and a thin jacket over a plain light blue shirt, the poor guy looked close to tears.

Kylo couldn’t understand what it was he felt in that moment, but he quickly turned away, doing something he’d never normally do. Stepping closer to Phasma, he spoke in a hushed, urgent tone.

“Phas’”

She clearly realised something was amiss, and rather than voicing her displeasure as she disengaged from the other woman, she looked concerned.

“Do you still have those face things?”

“Face things?”

“You know…” Kylo gestured with his hand, as if washing his face. “Wipes.”

Phasma eyed Kylo up for a moment, and then glanced past him. As she saw the redhead, her whole countenance changed. “Oh,” she breathed. A moment of rummaging through her colt-shaped handbag produced a packet of makeup removal pads, which she handed to Kylo, giving him a solemn nod. “You got this.”

Kylo nodded in return, already moving away. He was sure Phasma was still watching him, but his attention was steadfastly fixed on the distraught young man just a few paces away. The seat next to him was thankfully free, and Kylo sank into it, holding out the wipes.

“Here,” he said gently. “These will help.”

The young man whipped around to face him, clearly ready to defend himself. His face tightening as if he were about to snap in response, but Kylo’s offer threw him. In those confusing few moments as the redhead worked how to respond, Kylo got the chance to gaze at one of the most beautiful men he’d ever seen. Despite his skin being reddened and stained by paint on both cheeks, the redhead had astonishingly pale, freckled skin and soft, inviting lips which trembled a little until they were pressed tightly together. Gorgeous green eyes, made all the more brilliant by the redness rimming them, stared at him, searching him for signs of malice. When the other man found none, his gaze fell as he reached out to take the wipes.

“Thank you.”

The soft voice made Kylo’s heart ache. No one had any business sounding that lost and broken, never mind someone so beautiful. Kylo let the guy take the wipes, wondering how on earth he could make a difference when the redhead seemed so forlorn.

“Any time,” he settled on, not sure where to go from there. Belatedly, he realised he should have asked Phasma for a mirror too. Whatever paint had been used to decorate the redhead’s skin, it was messy, and smeared as it was scrubbed at. The guy didn’t ask for help though, and Kylo wasn’t sure how to offer it, so he sat in silence, waiting for the answer to drop into his lap. Even as he worked to clean up the mess, the guy still seemed close to tears.

“I shouldn’t have done this,” he breathed, seemingly to himself.

Kylo hesitated before tentatively speaking again. “Why not?”

The response was more a dry sob than a choked laugh, but was clearly supposed to be the latter. Kylo waited for the guy to speak, watching the way the now filthy makeup wipe was dragged over sensitive skin.

“It was a mistake,” came the eventual reply.

“Your first?”

“And last.” The guy sounded so resoundingly defeated that Kylo’s heart fell even more. “I don’t know how you can do this. Be so…”

Kylo understood what the redhead couldn’t say. He bit his tongue, fingers tightening around the packet he held. The once white thing in the guy’s hand was now a smear of different colours; ruined. The vibrancy was now just a filthy mess that no longer resembled anything wonderful.

“Let me,” he mumbled, taking another wipe from the packet. The redhead turned in compliance, holding his head still for Kylo to bring his hand up and gently, tentatively, wipe at the lingering paint. As he worked, afraid to cause discomfort by being too firm, the guy’s eyes fell closed, golden lashes brushing against reddened skin. Kylo tried not to be distracted by anything other than the task at hand, but it was difficult.

“You know,” he said, finding his voice oddly broken. He swallowed, trying again. “It does get easier.”

The huffed response gusted against the skin of Kylo’s hand as he carefully wiped the last trace of colour from the redhead’s jaw line. Shifting in his seat, the guy presented his other cheek for Kylo to clean. They were approaching another station, but neither of them stopped. The only reaction, from the redhead, was in the way he stiffened, eyes closing even tighter as the doors opened and one or two people got on. Nothing else happened though.

“How long have you been doing this?”

“Pride?” Silence was the affirmation. “A few years. My first was a bit of a disaster, mostly because I went looking for trouble.”

“Your parents?”

“Couldn’t care less. Well, my dad could, but he’s the kind to ignore that he doesn’t want to see.”

There was a slight nod, and the redhead pressed his lips together tightly. “Lucky.”

Kylo didn’t need to ask in return, but he couldn’t help himself. A disastrous part of his mind had been unlocked, and he couldn’t help his mouth running away from him.

“What about yours?”

Kylo had finished wiping the messy paint off, but he lingered for a moment, forgetting to pull away when he saw the way the redhead paled. The guy’s expression twisted in misery, and at the unhappy tremble of his lip, Kylo hastily pulled back.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t have…”

Piercing green eyes locked onto his own, and Kylo forgot how to breathe. He wanted to throw himself at this complete stranger and wrap around him completely, protecting him and keeping him safe from anyone or anything that might try to harm him. There was no mistaking the abject pain and misery the guy was suffering, and Kylo’s own heart hurt unbearably at the knowledge of it. He felt powerless.

“I’m sorry,” he repeated softly, wishing there was some way to reach out and make a difference. “I wish I could help. I wish I could do something. I know it’s not my place, but if you need a friend…”

The redhead seemed to break before him, unhappiness and misery spilling forth as he crumpled in on himself, tears now spilling down his cheeks. Despite his normal discomfort with such situations, Kylo still wanted to help.

“Can I hug you?”

Kylo’s words drew the first audible sob from the redhead, who was trying to nod while still attempting to disappear. The weight of his misery was palpable, and as he turned towards Kylo and allowed the embrace, Kylo wondered how anyone could withstand such sadness and pain. Whatever the guy was going home to, it was clearly hell. He was clinging to Kylo fiercely, blind to anything but the comfort Kylo was offering. He needed it so desperately he was forgetting where they were, and even himself. The guy didn’t strike Kylo as the kind to break down and allow strangers to comfort him, ever.

Kylo wished he could promise him it would be okay, and that everything would work out. He wished he could say with absolute certainty that whatever was upsetting the guy would soon no longer be a problem, and that the world would change overnight to become a better place, but he knew those words would just be empty lies. The world didn’t want to change, it wanted to change _them_. It was stubborn and cruel, and left people broken and crying in the arms of strangers every day.

There was nothing Kylo could say in the face of such injustice. He simply held the other young man, offering what little comfort he could through his touch. The train was just approaching another stop when the redhead pulled away slowly, mumbling an apology. Kylo felt someone approach, and looked up to see Phasma standing over him, the brunette just behind her.

“This is me,” she announced. They normally got off together, so Kylo assumed Phasma was going to the smaller woman’s place. “See you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, see you,” Kylo agreed, his voice sounding as if he too had just spent the last five minutes silently crying. “Have fun.”

The smirk Phasma gave him didn’t hold the same playfulness as usual. “Don’t I always?”

Kylo nodded, already turning away. The redhead was looking down, shielding his face from onlookers and fiddling with a scrunched up, dirty makeup wipe. Carefully, Kylo rested his hand on the guy’s shoulder, noticing with dismay the faint smudges of paint and dusting of glitter that had transferred from his skin to the guy’s clothes.

“Are you okay?”

It was a stupid question, and Kylo knew the guy was pretty damn far from okay, but he thankfully received a nod in response.

“I can walk you home if you like.”

The redhead gave a dry laugh, still staring down at his lap. “That might be a bit difficult. We’ve just missed my stop.”

“Oh.” Kylo looked up at the disappearing station. “Shall we get off at the next one?”

The guy shook his head. “You don’t have to. It’s a long walk.”

“I don’t mind.”

When the redhead finally looked up again, he seemed spent. Kylo could see the tiredness and defeat in him; the resignation. He didn’t have the capacity to pretend to Kylo that he was okay and that he could manage. A nod was all Kylo got before their attention shifted to the guy’s clothes. When he groaned, Kylo sighed sympathetically.

“Glitter’s a bastard, I know. The paint should dust off easily though.”

“My dad is going to kill me.”

Kylo tried to ignore those words, shaking his head. “I’ve done this before, trust me. Oh, is this us?”

He ambled to his feet, stepping back to give the redhead enough room to stand. The guy was almost as tall as him, but thinner, and rather unsteady on his feet. Kylo held out his arm to shepherd the guy towards the door, standing so that if a sudden movement jolted them, he’d be able to catch the other man. No such thing happened, but the redhead did move far closer to Kylo than strictly necessary, brushing against his side even as he apologised again.

“I’m sorry, you really don’t have to. I’ll be fine.”

Kylo didn’t believe him. “I want to,” he said firmly. “And as I’m responsible for the glitter on your clothes, well…”

He left the rest unsaid, alighting as soon as the doors opened and then waiting for the redhead to lead the way.

“Thank you,” the guy at his side mumbled.

“Anytime,” Kylo said lightly. He then hesitated, resulting in them both stopping. “Seriously, though,” he said earnestly. “I mean it. Anytime. And I’m Kylo, by the way.”

He held out his hand somewhat awkwardly, not entirely comfortable with the social gesture. The redhead smiled a little though, and took his hand in response.

“Armitage Hux, although everyone just calls me Hux.”

Kylo grinned, unwilling to let go of the warm, soft hand in his own but knowing he had to. “Armitage Hux. I like it. It’s unusual.”

“Says you.”

Their hands dropped, but the smiles remained. It took Kylo a few more seconds to realise where they still were, and he almost jumped in response, hastily removing his backpack.

“Oh shit, I’m sorry, I should, uh...”

The redhead - Hux - gave a snort of laughter as Kylo pulled out his leather jacket and tugged it on.

“Are you seriously so comfortable in yourself that you forget you’re topless and covered in glitter and paint?” He was definitely amused, even if a little disbelieving.

“For one day of the year…” Kylo mumbled, a little abashed. He looked up as he zipped the jacket closed. “Better?”

Hux hesitated, glancing down over Kylo’s body and then wetting his lips. “I suppose.”

Kylo knew he would be a fool to honestly think Hux had wanted to say something more, and flattering, so he pushed the wishful thought from his mind and instead reshouldered his bag, stepping up beside Hux.

“You’re going to have to show me the way. Is there a coffee shop or a cafe on the way?”

“Right, yeah,” Hux nodded. For a short while they walked in silence, until Hux spoke again. “Do you do this a lot?”

“Do what?”

“Walk strangers home.”

“Definitely not, no.”

“No?”

Hux sounded curious, and conversational. Kylo was glad to see something of the guy beyond misery, and gave him a wry smile.

“I’m not the, uh, social type, or the making friends type.”

“You could have fooled me.”

Kylo gave Hux a sideways glance. “Really?”

“Really,” was the only response Hux gave. After another beat, he slowed his pace, and Kylo slowed to match. “So, are you… Do you…?”

They came to a standstill, and Kylo backed against the window of a shop to keep out of the way of the other pedestrians. Hux tucked in rather close to him, seeming oddly nervous.

“Did you mean it when you offered friendship?”

The moment came back to Kylo in a rush, and he nodded sincerely. “Of course.”

Hux swallowed visibly, his gaze fixed on Kylo’s despite his clear nervousness. “Because I’ve never had that before - someone offering it so freely.”

“Oh.” Kylo couldn’t help feeling saddened by the admission. “I guess I’ve not either. And I don’t normally approach people, I kind of… Well…”

Hux gave a sad little smile. “You only approach miserable strangers you meet on the way back from Pride.”

“No, that’s not it!” He realised himself as soon as he’d spoken, and bit at his lip. “Sorry, I haven’t done this before. But I could tell, and you were clearly alone. I didn’t like seeing you like that. No one should feel like that. I didn’t want to see you scared.”

“You’d have done it for anyone?”

Kylo thought a little too hard about the question, not liking the answer he found or particularly wanting to share it.

“Maybe?”

“Why me?” Hux asked quietly, seeming to have understood what Kylo hadn’t said.

The answer to that was simple.

“Because I saw you.”

Hux suddenly seemed dangerously close to crying again. Kylo didn’t want to reach out to him when Hux might find such contact in public alarming, but he couldn’t just stand there.

“Hux?”

It was Hux who reached out, hand scrabbling for Kylo’s. It seemed like he needed reassurance, and Kylo was more than happy to give it.

“No one’s ever…” Hux said breathlessly, gripping tight. He was looking down, blinking furiously. “Thank you.”

Kylo squeezed back. “Hey,” he said gently, endlessly grateful that Hux was easy to be around - far easier than almost anyone else Kylo knew. “You’re worth seeing.”

Well, he got his words mixed up, but Hux seemed to understand what Kylo meant anyway. He gave a wet sob, trembling for a moment as he tried to fight whatever emotions Kylo’s words caused.

“You don’t even know me.”

“I’d like to though. If you’d like to know me too.”

Hux nodded, finding the strength to look up and give Kylo a watery smile. His green eyes were damp with barely restrained tears. “I would.”

Kylo sighed, smiling. With those two simple words, the world seemed so much brighter. He honestly had no idea how to go about making friends, but it seemed that, with Hux, he’d managed somehow.

“Do you have time for a coffee before you have to go?”

Hux looked down again, shaking his head slightly. The hand holding Kylo’s went lax. “I should be getting back before I’m missed.”

“Okay,” Kylo nodded, trying to hide his disappointment. Coffee was cliché anyway.

“I’m sorry. I would really like to.”

Kylo squeezed Hux’s hand before letting go. “Maybe next time.”

“Or we could get one to go? I think there’s a place round the corner?”

Kylo nodded again, allowing Hux to lead the way. Following a few paces behind, Kylo watched the redhead for a moment, admiring him and wondering if he was doing the right thing. His feelings were already confused, and he knew not to assume Hux wanted the same thing. He couldn’t help hoping though, and when he caught up easily, falling into step next to Hux, his hand itched with the proximity of Hux’s. The contact had felt nice. He wanted that again.

Sure though, there was an independent coffee shop on the next street. It looked cosy, and when they entered they were greeted by the welcoming smell of coffee and the sound of chatter. Hux turned to Kylo, pausing just inside the doorway.

“Should I get us something?”

“No. My treat,” Kylo insisted, digging into his pocket for his wallet. He pulled out a crumpled note and handed it over. “Shall I go sort your jacket?”

“Oh,” Hux managed, looking a little bemused. He seemed to want to protest, but took the money and then started shrugging off his thin jacket. There was paint and glitter on his shirt too, but Kylo figured Hux could just zip his jacket closed and then secret the dirty garment into the laundry when no one was looking. After removing his wallet and phone, Hux handed the light jacket over, looking even thinner and more fragile without it on. The shirt looked expensive. “I’ll, um… What do you want?”

“Mocha, with two shots of caramel.”

“Sweet tooth?” Hux asked with a hesitant smile.

“Pretty much, yeah.” Kylo nodded. “I’ll be back in a minute.”

With that he left Hux to approach the counter as he located the toilet. It was tucked away in a corner, and was thankfully free. As soon as he pulled the door closed, Kylo slipped his rucksack from his shoulder, cradling Hux’s jacket in the crook of his arm as he rummaged for the hairbrush he knew he’d flung in there this morning. It would be ruined by this, no doubt, but Kylo thought it a worthwhile sacrifice. There was no way the tiny flakes of glitter were going to leave the fabric of Hux’s jacket without some persuasion, and allowing Hux to go home with any remnants of Pride on him was out of the question.

Kylo worked diligently, using the boar bristle brush to both beat and brush the glitter and dried paint off. It was taking far longer than he’d like, and he worried that Hux would be getting fed up waiting for him, but there was no way to rush the process without then having to do it again to ensure he’d truly caught every last fleck of iridescence.

When, at last, he was done, Kylo shoved his ruined brush back into his bag. There was no way he’d be able to get the glitter out of it. Still, it didn’t matter. He’d managed to free Hux’s jacket of the mess he’d made. He felt victorious as he left the bathroom, smiling when he saw Hux waiting for him, two coffees in hand.

“All done,” Kylo proclaimed. Hux looked visibly relieved.

“Thank you.”

As Kylo held the jacket out, Hux turned to the table behind him to set down the coffees. He tugged the now Pride-free garment back on, settling back into the person Kylo assumed he usually was. The shift was subtle, but after witnessing the distraught paint- and tear-stained mess Hux had been a short time ago, Kylo couldn’t help noticing it. If he passed Hux on the street, he wouldn’t think about approaching him. As attractive as he was, Hux wasn’t the kind of person Kylo would assume was gay. He looked so straight-laced. So confined. That thought saddened Kylo more than he thought it should, and made him long to reach out and scrub away at the exterior to find something of the young man he’d met and hoped was still there beneath the surface.

“What did you get?” Kylo asked instead, eyeing the coffee cups.

Hux looked at Kylo, giving him a ghost of a smile. “A mocha, with two shots of caramel.”

“You have a sweet tooth too?”

“No, but I thought I’d try it. Here’s your change, by the way.”

Hux dug into his pocket, pulling the coins out extending his hand. When Kylo did the same, Hux’s fingers brushed against his palm as he let go of the money, a jolt of warmth spreading through Kylo at what he hoped was a deliberate act.

“Thank you,” he said in a small voice, pocketing the change and wondering if he was visibly flushed. “I hope you enjoy it.”

Hux gave a small laugh. “So do I.”

Kylo looked at the coffee cups, tilting his head a little. “They didn’t need to write our names on them if we both have the same drink.”

“No,” Hux agreed, picking up the one with his name on it and holding it out to Kylo. “But I asked them to.”

“Oh,” Kylo managed, finding himself smiling at the unexpected gesture. He wasn’t sure what else to say as he took the coffee and cradled it in his hands, turning Hux’s name towards himself as Hux did the same with the other cup. “I… I suppose we should get going?”

“Yeah,” Hux nodded, glancing around and shifting nervously. “I suppose you have somewhere to be too.”

Kylo frowned, not liking the way Hux sounded, or the implication. “No, not really, unless a date with Connor MacLeod of the clan MacLeod counts?”

Hux stared at him for several seconds, clearly taken aback by not only Kylo’s words but also his atrocious Scottish accent. And then, thankfully, he burst out laughing; real laughter - something bright and beautiful that made the whole world a far, far better place. Kylo couldn’t help smiling, feeling himself falling a little bit in love with the man opposite him.

“Are you really going to watch Highlander?”

“Of course,” Kylo chuckled.

“That’s not very…” Hux was grinning as he spoke, looking endlessly amused.

“What? Not very gay? You expect more of me, do you?”

“Well…”

Hux’s eyes looked wonderful when they were brightened by mirth. His words trailed off but he remained gazing at Kylo, leaving Kylo breathless and burning with the almost overwhelming desire to lean forwards and kiss the other man. Hux was, in a word, wonderful.

“It’s really manly,” Kylo pointed out, letting his mouth run away with him in the hope it would prevent him from doing something far more reckless.

Hux snorted in response. “Of course,” he teased. “So manly.”

“It is. Do I need to remind you of all the reasons why it’s an incredible film?”

“An incredibly bad film.”

“Which you have clearly seen.”

“Once.”

“And need to see again if you’ve forgotten so much about it.”

Hux’s grin widened. “Is that an offer?”

“It might be.”

It was. It definitely was. Kylo’s face fell a little as he realised he couldn’t make good on anything right now, no matter how much he wanted to. Hux had said he needed to get home. Hux, seemingly thinking the same thing, also deflated a little.

“Can I give you my number?” he asked softly.

“Of course,” Kylo replied equally as gently. He dug his phone out and unlocked it before handing it over. Hux pocketed it for a moment so that he could dig his own out, which was quickly passed over. Kylo thumbed in his number and then his full name, before locking the screen and carefully slipping Hux’s phone back into the guy’s pocket. “Message me anytime. I mean it. We’re inseparable now. We like the same terrible films.”

Hux gave a huff of laughter, handing Kylo’s phone back. “It’s one film, and I never said I liked it,” he pointed out.

At some unspoken cue, they headed for the exit. Kylo held the door open for Hux, smiling. “You don’t have to say it. I know it.”

Hux laughed again at that, shaking his head. “Of course you do.” They fell into step easily, although when Hux fell silent he seemed to be struggling to find the words he wanted to say. At last, he managed. “Anytime? You mean it?”

“Yeah, definitely. Hit me up when you get home if you like. Let me know how it goes. Where do they think you are anyway?”

Hux looked a little crestfallen, and Kylo regretted asking. “Studying.”

“Like at university? What are you studying?”

Somehow, Hux looked even more diminished, as if ashamed of the words that came out his mouth. “Actuary.”

“What’s that?”

“Statistical analysis. Mathematics. Risk probability.”

Hux’s voice sounded flat, making Kylo hesitate. His instinctive response of admiration for what clearly had to be a highly intellectual field of study was held back in favour of a tentative question he wasn’t sure he should ask. “Don’t you like it?”

“I do, it’s just…” Hux took a sip of his coffee, wincing a little. “Wow, it’s still hot.”

Kylo could recognise the attempt to deflect, and decided to let it go. “You sound really clever,” was the last thing he said on the matter, before trying his own drink. It was a comfortable temperature for him, but he gave a hum anyway, agreeing with Hux. “You’re right. Really hot.” He simply omitted the fact that he liked his drinks hot. “Is it too sweet?”

“No, I don’t think so. I think I burnt my tongue though.”

“Oh, sorry,” Kylo said, feeling guilty for some reason.

Hux chuckled to himself, shaking his head. “Why? You didn’t burn me.”

“I guess…” Kylo agreed. “I’m sorry if you don’t like it.”

“You’re sorry for a lot of things that aren’t your fault, aren’t you?”

Kylo didn’t know what to say to that. He was aware of the fact they’d come to a standstill at an intersection, but when the lights changed they didn’t cross. The beeping of the crossing and the sound of pedestrians moving past them faded into the background as Kylo regarded Hux, feeling profoundly sorry for a whole host of reasons. He wished Hux didn’t have to go back to wherever it was he was going, and that there was more Kylo could do to help him. He was sorry that the world was such an unfair place that Hux was left saddened by it and unable to do something as simple and as wonderful as attending Pride without being afraid of his family finding out. Kylo wished he could give Hux everything he needed to be himself - truly himself - and regretted that he could do little more than help erase the traces of the parade and buy him an overly sweet, too hot drink.

“Please don’t be,” Hux said after the silence drew on for far too long. “I’m not sorry. It was stupid to go to Pride and let people paint my face and to then break down on the subway, and I should know better than to let half naked men covered in glitter hug me, but… I’m not sorry. I’m glad I went to Pride. I’m glad I met you. Thank you.”

It was Kylo’s turn to give Hux a slightly tearful smile. The words he wanted to express wouldn’t come. They were too difficult and awkward, and he didn’t feel adept enough to form them into an intelligible sentence anyway. So he nodded, selecting the best part of Hux’s little speech to repeat.

“I’m glad I met you too.”

Hux smiled softly back, far too beautiful and inviting in that moment for Kylo to cope with. To stop himself doing something he’d regret, Kylo pushed his thoughts sideways.

“Uh, do you want to ring me from your phone before you go? To make sure I typed it in correctly.”

“Sure,” Hux nodded, reaching for his phone. Kylo had returned it to the wrong pocket, so Hux had to dig awkwardly for it, but he managed. “I should go now anyway. Thank you for walking me this far.”

“Anytime,” Kylo reiterated, reaching to check his phone when it started vibrating. ‘Hux’ was displayed on the screen, and he gave a small smile as he pocketed it. “You’ll let me know how it goes at home?”

“I will,” Hus said solemnly. “And you’ll let me know if Highlander has improved with age?”

They smirked at each other, before the awareness of time clearly pressed in on Hux. He shifted, looking reluctant to leave but too anxious to stay. Kylo desperately wished he could hug him, but there was no way he would risk messing Hux’s now restored jacket up again.

“I will,” he replied in strangely tight voice. “Hey…”

He reached out hesitantly, gently bumping Hux’s hand as soon as Hux had put his phone away again. Kylo was immensely relieved when Hux welcomed the touch, sliding his hand into Kylo’s. With even more uncertainty, Kylo slowly lifted Hux’s hand to his lips, watching carefully for any sign of reluctance or fear. He desperately hoped he wasn’t misinterpreting what looked like amazement and excitement as Hux’s breathing quickened. When Kylo’s lips brushed over soft pale skin, Hux bit his lip, flushing slightly.

“Take care,” he said gently, for some reason remembering the way his own mother had said those words to him and suddenly understanding her concern.

Hux gave a strange, almost embarrassed giggle - there was no other word for it - and waited for Kylo to release his hand before letting it fall back to his side.

“I’ll try. You too?”

Kylo nodded solemnly. “See you soon?”

“Definitely.”

They shared an awkward smile, both of them seeming to want something more, and hoping the other did too. Neither of them made a move, though, until Hux stepped back, joining the growing crowd waiting to cross the road.

“Bye for now, Kylo.”

“See you,” Kylo nodded. A moment later, the crossing beeped again, and Hux was moving away from him. Kylo watched him go, aching a little at the loss. When Hux reached the other side, he turned and smiled at Kylo, waving. Kylo gave a smile and an awkward wave in return, not even thinking to move from the spot. It was only when Hux had disappeared from sight, his brilliant red hair and tall, slender figure lost around the corner, that Kylo remembered himself. Taking a sip of his now cool coffee, he turned to make his way back to the station.

He was almost there when his phone vibrated. Digging it out, and still holding the cup bearing Hux’s name in his other hand, Kylo smiled down at the message he’d been sent.

‘ _Home safe. All went well. Thanks again. Look forward to seeing you again. Hux. x_ ’


End file.
